Distractions tend to fire at me from every angle during revision time – and this exam season, I am especially unarmed.
I know that one of my more dilligent and hard-working past selves would be disappointed in me right now but I’d like to think that future selves will be proud of me.
My confidence in my classes has definitely reached a high – I even asked the visiting (very attractive) Bürgermeister (mayor) a question in my lecture hall today (and no.. it was not ‘will you marry me?’ although that was the main question running through my mind). It’s crazy to me because I know that 6 months ago, I never would have had the courage to do that. You don’t really tend to notice that you are getting better at something until moments like these, the imrpovements only really manifest themselves in your head in retrospect. I remember being 17 and too nervous to phone people, like calling up the doctor to make an appointment or whatever.. and now I can speak out in a lecture theatre in a different language. I’d like to think that small accomplishments like this tend to have the same weighting in defining our success in the same way that the big, obvious ones do, like exam results.
So this is why I am trying my best to sweep away these unreasonable expectations of revision. I am trying to look at my year abroad as a series of small, personal achievements (with a side-order of embarrassing moments.)
For example, I’ve managed to control cravings and maintain a dairy-free diet for a prolonged amount of time. And let me tell you, the land of no milk and honey isn’t all that bad. I’d also like to think that suffering through my first ever flu without a caring mother or father bringing me toast and lemsips was a huge achievement in itself! I will never forget the feeling of HEALTH after being eight days bedbound. I naturally sprung up and embarked on a shopping spree which I have lived to regret. But I was celebrating my leap into adulthood (as surviving the flu definitely makes you an adult) and a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do.
And a girl gotta.. take lots of breaks. I full believe that the time spent not studying is just as beneficial as the time spent studying during this time of year.
I’ll be honest – I’m writing this post to give myself a little boost. To remind myself that everything will turn out for the best. Mainly due to the sad fact that I have been revising for my Europarecht exam and so have been learning some set phrases that I found in a textbook for use in the exam.. after a few hours of this I suddenly realised that said textbook was actually written by my professor and that I could not use any of the phrases I had just memorised for the past few hours without my professor thinking that I am actually crazy repeating his own work to him. Ooops. Lesson learned anyway.
Education is great. And it is great in Germany, in the best University in the country (and no.. not only due to the fact that it serves beer in the student cafes and study spaces). Germany really gets education – I mean they even were one of the first countries in the world to introduce compulsory (and free) primary education in the late 18th century. Sometimes studying law in the German language seems no more than a series of “je ne sais pa”s.. but I am really thankful that I have been given this opportunity. And in any case, we are all just daft people learning to be less daft. Even though it may seem like a struggle right now, it is manageable.
On another note, it is set to be 29 degrees this week and I usually turn into a swollen dehydrated slug type creature in this sort of heat so I better try and get some sleep now. Revision ramble over and out!